The Box of Daggers
by Lamia of the Dark
Summary: Oneshot. Voldemort decides to take a good look at Bellatrix's mind to find out what makes her proficient at erecting mental barriers. The answer is much stranger than he would ever have imagined...


**DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter belongs to JKR.**

~ The Box of Daggers ~

Even before she was formally trained in Occlumency, she was good at erecting barriers in her mind. I want to find out why. I haven't told her that I plan to invade her mind while she sleeps. I merely invited her to my bed "to do with as I please". She accepted the offer at face value without questioning me, assuming that I meant to use her body for my own amusement. I only follow through on this expectation in order to physically exhaust her.

Her sleeping mind is like nothing I have ever experienced. Normally, I have to fight my way through a maelstrom of random thoughts and memories in order to find what I seek. (I suspect that even my own mind must work that way.) However, Bella's mind is precisely ordered - almost like a world unto itself rather than the pits of chaos that I am used to entering.

I had never realized before that my consciousness will automatically conform to its surroundings when in a foreign mind. It feels strange to navigate the mindscape of another as an avatar of myself. My appearance here is an approximation of my current physical form.

Her mindscape is ringed by a row of forbidding black iron doors. All are sealed shut. There are no handles or keyholes. Aside from the doors, her mind seems to be a barren expanse of gray sand. In the center of the ring is an avatar of Bellatrix - younger and prettier than she is now, but this is obviously how she prefers to remember herself. The avatar lies prone, in much the same position as her sleeping body in the real world. Strange shadowy creatures dance around her. It takes me a few moments to work out that the avatar is Bella's consciousness and that the dancing shadows are her dreams.

As I seem to be standing along the outer edge myself, I turn around and discover that I am standing in front of a doorway as well. This one stands open and a hazy image of my darkened bedroom hovers within the frame - likely the last sight Bellatrix saw before falling asleep. It would seem that this is the gateway to the waking world.

Fragments of random thought flit about sporadically in the form of silver butterflies - the only flash of color in this dull monochrome landscape.

Out of sheer curiosity, I move closer to the avatar. (Not close enough to make her aware of her presence, just enough to get a clearer view.) There are two boxes beside her. One is black iron, like the doors. Unlike the doors, it is beautifully crafted and has a faint gray luminescence about it. This is a carefully guarded secret, one that she treasures. The other is a box of daggers - thoughts with which she torments herself.

I slowly edge closer, intent on getting a better look at the daggers, when the dream-shadows suddenly disperse into the darkness as if startled by something. For a moment I think that it is my fault… until I catch sight of what really scared them away. Black vines - oily strings of smoke and shadow - are seeping out from under the most forbidding-looking of the black iron doors, creeping toward the center of the room.

Bella's avatar suddenly springs up, grabs the box of daggers, and runs as though chased to one of the sealed doors on the opposite side of the circle from the one that is leaking diseased thoughts. She plucks a dagger from the box and slams it against the door. The two objects resonate with each other in a discordant jangle of echoes.

The door opens and she goes through. Without thinking, I follow. She drops the dagger back into the box and the door slams shut behind me, sealed off from the rest of her mind once more. The room is another blank gray mindscape with a floor of sand. The avatar sits down, sets the box of daggers on the sand beside her, and allows the memories contained in this room to flow freely.

Sad lonely memories swirl around the room, crying out for attention. None of them approach me directly, but they unfurl in front of me so that I can't help but see (not to mention hear, and _feel_) the contents. It is almost unbearable to experience them piled one on top of the other like this. And I can't help but wonder…

_What is she hiding from, that THIS is a refuge?_

~end~

**A/N: See, I told you it was weird and takes a long time to get to the point. And I didn't even include the random memories that I was imagining them seeing.**

**Reviews are love.**


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